Relationships Are Tupperware

My Tupperware cabinet is the most infuriating area of my kitchen. I routinely toss the plastic containers and random lids from the dishwasher to the cabinet, with no regard for creating compatible pairs. Sifting through the avalanche of plastic that tumbles from the cupboard reminds me that having lids matched with an appropriate companion always proves to be beneficial. Cooking sprees leave me frustrated because trying to force lids on containers that are clearly not compatible creates a no-win situation. A recent Tupperware free-for-all left me contemplating how my plastic storage debacle may be a mirror image of the stumbling blocks in relationships. Like our relationships, when we try to force a lid on the wrong container, even if it’s close, it is never a secure fit.

Empty? Not so much...

Empty? Not so much…

 

With the exception of my extensive history of failed relationships, I am no expert on the topic. I speak only from my experiences and disasters of my own life lessons. I tend to evaluate relationships in terms of pros and cons, and as long as the pros outweigh the cons, we’re good. And, by the time we reach a certain age, we inevitably come to the table with some amount of emotional baggage; hence the cons. We are comfortable with the person we are, we’ve become set in our ways, and it can be challenging to find the right lid for our container. Herein lies the challenge.

 

 

People change and forget to tell each other. ~ Lillian Hellman [Read more…]

Dogs vs. Cats…

New Age folks often speak of having spirit animals, which are supposed to be a reflection of our personality traits, strengths, and weaknesses. It is believed that our spirit animal is a guiding force behind how we work, live, love, and find our way in the world. For the purpose of this post, I’ve decided to forego my urge to sift through the entire animal kingdom, and instead, focus on just two—dogs and cats.

Spirit animal one...

Spirit animal one…

 

Dog energy vs. cat energy…

 

 

I love all animals but I believe that if given the opportunity, cats are the ones with the ability to achieve world domination. They observe, plot, and execute with ninja-like precision. Meanwhile, dogs are content with chasing tennis balls, barking, humping and digging holes. When it comes to comparing cats and dogs, we’re definitely talking about the extremes of the wag-o-meter.

Spirit animal two…(will kick your ass)

Spirit animal two…(will kick your ass)

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Let’s Talk LGBTQ Equality

One glance at news or social media feeds is all it takes to know that Indiana’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act has the nation in an uproar. Although it was later amended, this is but one of many similar bills/laws that have been in the works in states around the country. Rather than focus on a particular situation, I suggest doing a broad sweep of the movement underfoot that continues to foster discrimination against members of the LGBTQ community. I try to avoid discussing both politics and religion because doing so often leads to heated exchanges that do offer little in terms of a resolution for either side. That being said, I also find it increasingly difficult to sit silent while the battle rages on, and injustices aimed at the LGBTQ community are entertained. It saddens me that in 2015, I have to look at a map of the United States to find out where I am welcome to travel with a partner and be treated with the same dignity as any other couple. I suppose I could go off on an angry rant but it serves no purpose in this discussion. Anger only perpetuates the polarization of folks who instead need to meet in the middle from a place of mutual respect and compassion. The bottom line requires a shift so the focus is not on right vs. wrong but instead, the need for everyone to be treated equally. No more. No less.

Have compassion...

Have compassion…

 

Gay as a lifestyle choice…

 

Some argue that being LGBTQ is a lifestyle choice, which I believe is not rooted in fact. It is no more a choice than it is to be left-handed, heterosexual or have brown hair; it is how we are born. However, intolerance, bigotry, and discrimination are conscious choices that are continually perpetuated by a vocal minority. So, before jumping to the conclusion that LGBTQ folks are a subculture of deviants ask this: why would any rational human being make the choice to live a lifestyle where our basic rights as citizens are constantly under attack? We wouldn’t, it isn’t a choice, and there is no room for shame when honoring your authentic self. [Read more…]

Making Friends With Anxiety

I frequently refer to anxiety as one of those gifts that keeps on giving. So, how in the world can I, an individual who claims to be grounded in reality, refer to a potentially debilitating condition as, a gift? Trust me, there were many years when I allowed myself to be held captive by the habitual ebb and flow of my anxious mind. It wasn’t until I made a conscious decision to make friends with anxiety that I began to see the benefits of a condition that had previously left me housebound. I like to think of it as an arrangement, where both parties agree to disagree but peacefully coexist. That’s the current state of affairs in my headspace, and so far, the new mindset is serving me well. Allow me to explain.

Kinda...

Kinda…

 

I’ve made no secret about the fact that anxiety, panic attacks, and agoraphobia have long been active components of my life. Mental illness has a tendency of just showing up, and regardless of your plans, it takes the wheel. No invitation is required because that isn’t how these little buggers operate. It’s easy to feel blindsided as you are abruptly tossed from the driver’s seat only to become a passenger on an unsolicited ride. Shitty? Absolutely. However, with a slight adjustment in perspective, I’ve learned to harness the seemingly unbridled energy of anxiety to better suit my needs. Game on.  [Read more…]

Searching For Balance

Balance. Sometimes, it feels like I spend so much time hanging around the extremes that I forget to stop in the middle. These last few weeks have felt like a non-stop exercise in polarities; I’m either running at full tilt or passed out. I need to find my way back to center because that’s where I function best.

No rest for the wicked...

No rest for the wicked…

 

As a student of Buddhism, I understand that following that Middle Way is the best route to staying grounded. When I allow life to spiral out of control or take on too many things at once, I find myself flying by the seat of my pants. This may feel good to some but for me, a person with extreme anxiety, nothing could be more unsettling. It’s also, counterproductive.

 

Change is good, and learning to adapt to changes is paramount for keeping pace with the inevitable fluidity of life. The trick, for me, lies in rolling with the changes but also keeping my feet on the ground. Herein lies the conundrum.

[Read more…]

Taylor Fulks Talks Audiobooks and GiveAway

Giveaway imageThis is it!

My 2nd Anniversary Blog GiveAway!

Yeah…I know! I can’t believe it! My journey is almost complete…It will officially end May 16th when I run in the #WarriorDash 5K obstacle run to benefit St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. I’m happy the money is going for that worthy cause, but my reasons for running are selfish, I’m afraid. This book journey has taken me from quiet, subdued, doormat, and transformed me into a Warrior for myself and Sexually Abused Children.

So here it is, two years of social media, my new and improved website, and the revised publication and redistribution of my book, in ALL formats, including an audiobook! Who’d of thunk it! Now it’s time to Celebrate! And this time, I’m doing it right!

So, what do you have to do to be entered in this Rafflecopter Giveaway? Just leave a comment and share this post (Facebook, Twitter, etc…). Easy-peasy!

You don’t have to wax poetic. You don’t even have to say anything…you can leave an * or an emoji, or any (clean) text you want. You’ll automatically be entered in my Giveaway, which by the way, is HUGE!

First prize…A 7″ HD~8GB Kindle Fire

Second prize… A $100 Amazon Gift Card

Third prize… A $50 Amazon Gift Card

Fourth prize… A $25 Amazon Gift Card

So…Let’s do this!

[Read more…]

Who Dropped The Clutter Bomb?

Home is where the heart is or in my case, the mess. Our space should tell our story; who we are, things we love, where we’ve been, and where we’re headed. I enjoy my house. It’s filled with the things that keep me grounded, make me smile, fuel my creativity, and quiet my head. Currently, I’m living in a house that looks like a war zone, and my OCD world has crumbled around me. The bomb that was detonated came in the form of my commitment to meet a deadline. That pesky manuscript that has been sitting on my desk, and whirling around in my head, is finally being finished. I dove in headfirst, full speed ahead, and everything around me has turned to shit. I suppose this means that I’m actually getting something accomplished, right?

Stay the course...

Stay the course…

 

I used to laugh at the status updates from people who raised the white flag and surrendered to cohabiting with clutter. Today I am coming out, again, but this time—as a slob. Temporary? Absolutely. However, I am shocked and appalled at how quickly I’ve lost control of, well, everything. I am one person with two small dogs, one of whom doesn’t even go outside. How the hell did life go from a calm, orderly existence to mayhem—in a month? Here’s my personal freefall into chaos, courtesy of a funnel cloud of questionable origin.

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The Message of the Semicolon

I’m a fan of tattoos mostly because everyone has a story, and body art is simply another means by which we share our journey. Although I may appear to be a mixed bag of random colors and images with an arbitrary theme, I promise this is not the case. I like large, colorful tattoos so I tend to choose pieces that put it all out there for the world to see. Think big, bold, and screaming the obvious. However, there are also the small, unassuming ones that fill the gaps but also hold deep meaning. The art that covers my body is how I choose to memorialize the most important moments of my life. It shows where I’ve been, who I am, what I believe, and hopefully—where I’m going. The story is there, inked into my dermis as a permanent reminder of all the paths I’ve taken. Good. Bad. Everything. The large images are the ones that attract the most attention but some of the smallest are the ones that hold the most meaning. Allow me to explain.

Go big or go home...

Go big or go home…

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My Eulogy

My parents have a bizarre tendency for not telling me when people have passed away. For instance, my cousin died this summer and they waited two weeks to tell me. They casually slipped it in a random conversation we were having about a yard sale. I don’t even know how you make that leap, but they did. The same thing happened when my uncle passed but that time, they waited over a month. When my grandmother died, they had a memorial service six-months later, and forgot to invite me. Weird. This trend caused me to consider my own inevitable demise because I wonder how many people they would leave off my guest list. Assuming there was even a service. I also worry that I could be buried in one of my mother’s favorite dresses, and she would absolutely forget to wax my upper lip. I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands by launching preemptive strikes. I’m making my own arrangements, which includes being cremated, and tossed in the Ganges. Today, I’ll start with my eulogy because I’m sure my parents don’t know me well enough to write any of this on their own. Welcome to my party.

Not dead...

Not dead…

 

[Read more…]

Beyond The Comfort Zone

 

“You better check yourself before you wreck yourself.”~ Ice Cube

 

I’ve spent the last few weeks deeply enmeshed in my revisions. I also inadvertently went too far down the rabbit hole without allocating sufficient recovery time. The result was that I resurfaced in a frazzled state featuring the dreaded combination of depression and anxiety. I was on a roll. The content was flowing, which also caused my sleep cycles to become erratic but hey, who am I to argue with the writing gods? Ultimately, I realized that I have to remember that I’m human. No more. No less. Shit happens but I can’t run the risk of riding an emotional roller coaster brought on by sleep deprivation, and an abundance of caffeine. I have a tendency to paint myself into virtual corners, and when that occurs, I definitely benefit from a mental health tune-up. That being said, this week’s post is a way to cut myself, and my head, some slack. I’ve decided to step away from the trigger-loaded manuscript, and instead, lighten up. Let’s roll.

Can cause hallucinations when consumed in excess...

Can cause hallucinations when consumed in excess…

 

 

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ~ Neale Donald Walsch

[Read more…]