The Urge to Purge: Managing a Hoarder

I’ve been a bad social media friend. For the last week, my time on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, etc has been extremely limited. Hopefully, after reading this post, you’ll have a better picture of the madness I’ve been dealing with, and you’ll definitely be happy you aren’t me.

I’ve made no secret about the fact that my mother is a hoarder. She keeps everything. Although her house is neat, clean, and organized, there isn’t even enough open space for someone to fart comfortably. And if you tempt fate, and open a closet, you better have a free hand to catch any falling boxes or they’ll land on your head. Believe me, I’m not kidding. Read more…

Finding the Gap

“You must be one of those weird, artistic types”. ~ Stranger behind me in line at the bank

I shared this quote online, and the reactions ran the gamut from: consider it a compliment to suggestions of how I could have offered her a colorful, verbal thrashing. They were all valid, heartfelt responses and I appreciated how quickly people picked up on the absurdity of her unsolicited opinion. However, the thing that caught my attention was how many folks zeroed in on the real issue: we have become a society void of filters. I agree with that opinion but, for me, the bigger issue is, what can we do about it? Read more…

Diet Update From the Not-That-Fat Virgin

I’ve received a few inquiries from people who wanted a progress report regarding my status on the now infamous, Virgin Diet. Approximately four months ago, a friend and I set out on a journey towards better health. I am pleased to report that we are both feeling better, still on track, and have each shed a significant amount of weight. I still cling to a few convenient loopholes, therefore, my friend has lost twice as much weight as I have. However, I am not the one with the mood swings brought on by intense food cravings. I’ll take the slower weight loss and continue to maintain my sanity, courtesy of my weekly pizza binge. She went from wearing jumbo women’s jeans down to regular skinny jeans, and I went from eating most of a large pizza down to a few slices. I’d say that we are both seeing progress but it’s all a matter of perspective. Read more…

Gender Chaos…Sorry, I Am Not a Man

I’m the first to admit that I am not the most feminine gal, however, I certainly don’t think I look like a man. Apparently the rest of society, including my mother, begs to differ. For as long as I can remember, random situations have led to my being mistaken for a man. I’ve taken steps to remedy the problem by growing my hair, using makeup, and wearing more colorful clothing. Still, not a week goes by when I am not treated to the sound of someone asking: Can I help you, sir? The last month has been particularly frustrating because it seems to be happening more frequently, and people appear genuinely shocked/confused when they discover that this guy is in fact, a gal. Allow me to explain.
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Letter to My 17-Year-Old Self

Dear Blockhead,

You’re a senior in high school, and just a few weeks away from graduation. You still don’t have a clue about what to do next so you might want get moving on those college applications. Do you really plan to spend the rest of your life working the drive-up window at a bank? You can’t stand that job but even worse, your mother works at the same branch. Remind me why you’re there? That’s right, your parents decided it was an ideal introduction to the workforce so you went along with the plan. Heaven forbid you should speak your mind, get an age-appropriate job or think for yourself. By the way, how’s that business attire you borrowed from your mother working out? Read more…

Managing My Wiener

Last week, you were introduced to my boy Chip along with his plethora of behavioral issues. The arrival of my second dog, Autumn, offered Chip the companionship he clearly needed and peace replaced chaos in our home. Everything changed on August 1, 2009 when…

Forget it. I’m just going to let Autumn take things from here. She has a far better understanding of Chip and his issues so let’s see what she has to say. Read more…

Next to You Book Blitz by Claudia Y. Burgoa

After finishing Where Life Takes You, the original idea had been to write it from both POV’s. However after sending the first draft to my editor and my beta reader, we concluded that it was best to write it only from Dan’s. However here is one of the scene’s from Becca’s POV, while she’s away:

Next to You
Next to You

Crouched into a little human ball, I remain in the corner of the floor inside my ten by ten foot new room rocking back and forth. The cozy bed remains undone, covers on the floor and I shiver from the nightmare I just had. The picture of Dan and I siting on the night stand stares at me. Ty’s family watches me from the small desk. For me, for them, for a better future, I repeat to myself while steading my breaths. My progress in the last three months is outstanding according to the doctors. I called it bull shit and they insisted for me to tone down my voice and use a more appropriate vocabulary. Read more…

A Dominatrix and a Dachshund

“Steph, they don’t always graduate.” ~ Advice from a friend when I began training with my dog, Chip.

I spend most of my time writing/sharing about Autumn, my special needs pup. Sometimes, readers don’t realize that I actually have two dachshunds. My older guy is, like Autumn, a red-haired dachshund who unfortunately came equipped with their standard willful attitude, and a penis. We’ll address the penis later. Read more…

What I’ve Learned From Blogging

Last week, I received a notification from WordPress reminding me that it was the two-year anniversary of my website. My initial reaction was: thanks, no big deal, delete message, and move on. Although I still don’t consider it a parade-worthy event, I do see it as an opportunity to reflect on some lessons I’ve learned over the last two years.

I remember the day I published my first post and attempted to share it on Facebook (I was still a Twitter hater. I know…) but not because I wrote anything mind-blowing, hilarious or insightful. Honestly, it sucked. The reason I recall the now infamous first post is because, while sharing, I misspelled the link to my own website. Three times. Read more…

The Anti-Bucket List

I would be lost without my lists but I also struggle with OCD and I’ll do anything to avoid clutter in my living space. Prior to the advent of tablets and smartphones, which allow us to conveniently keep lists via apps, my house looked like a Post-it note assembly line. They were stuck to the walls, desk, doors, computers, refrigerator, and even the dashboard of the car. I compose lists for everything: tasks that need to be completed, brilliant ideas (that often crash and burn), topics for writing, things I want to sell, things I shouldn’t buy (but probably will), bills to pay (we can ignore those), calls I have to return (I put those off until the last second), and my personal favorite, the grocery store. My lists are no longer on multi-colored squares dangling about the house but instead remain neatly tucked away on my phone and tablet. However, there is one list I’ve never had the desire to make: a bucket list. Read more…