Last week, folks everywhere celebrated Mother’s Day: a day of recognition and appreciation for the person who is responsible for giving us life. I held out until 8pm to make the call that, as expected, went straight to my mother’s voicemail. This was fine with me because I’d spent the day searching for reasons to explain my reluctance towards making what would have amounted to a five-minute call.
There were no earth-shattering revelations, issues or arguments that fueled my inability to reach out; I just couldn’t. The truth is, my mother and I have never found the path to an authentic bond, which leaves us floundering through most interactions. We avoid conversations that go beyond the superficial, which causes our relationship to be fragmented, distant, and strained.
Our exchanges are cluttered with fashioned distractions, nonsensical yammering, and random histrionics. The mutually defensive posturing, coupled with our reluctance to address any elephants in the room, prevents us from having that mother-daughter connection that I hear referenced by others. At the risk of sounding like a shitty daughter, I believe I’ve grown tired of the ambiguous dance so, avoiding the obligatory Mother’s Day call was my equivalent of raising the white flag. [Read more…]